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Cozumel Trip Report
Posted by Follow_The_Leader on 07/10/01

What I did this summer:  
By Follow_The_Leader  aka, Pack_Mule aka John
Volume/Trip Number 3, for 2001.

Goals Included, but not limited to the following.

-      Research charitable causes for a group of mercenaries.
-      Dive for the 1st time
-      Lasagna at Manatee every night
-      Find the Jacuzzi
-      Spend 2 hours a day walking alone on the east side beaches, digging in tidal pool and relaxing.
-      Purchase 15-20 bags of the Sabrito’s Lime flavored peanuts to bring back.
-      Deliver the following specially requested items to my local buddies, Lesuer Baby peas in a can, Clam chowder Soup, Jelly Belly jelly beans, outdoor speakers, cheddar flavor goldfish, chicken spread, slim jims and most importantly peppermint patties.

I know my list isn’t as impressive as some,  but its my list and I’m happy with it.

My 4 day excursion started out early on Friday with a 8am flight  into Cancun.  Achu had graciously volunteered to come hold my hand  during my first dive and had arranged for a 4pm dive.  So not wanting to miss this wonderful hand holding experience, I packed light carry on bags only, got front row seat on the plane. The plane landed at 11:30, I was off the plane, threw customs, got a cab and was waiting for a whopping 10 whole minutes for the 1pm ferry crossing in PLaya.  Those of you who have done this..  will recognize it as a small miracle.  Anyways got into HSM by 2:15pm, I unloaded all the goodies on the reception desk (see list Above) and promptly handed over the clam chowder and peppermint patties to Achu.. Wild-eyed and drooling profusely, her hands trembling and shaking …. She handed me the little guest card to fill out.  While doing so I heard one of the peppermint patty bags being savagely ripped open in the background, as well as what I can only partially describe as a combination of grunting and lip smacking with a little bit of squealing.  When I looked up from filling out the little card to ask a question I saw Achu with a crazed look in her eyes and chocolate smeared from ear to ear. She had pretty much decimated the package of mints.  My mercenary friend Dave went to take one for himself and darn near pulled back a bloody stump.  It was all quite frightening! After the feeding frenzy died down the sugar rush kicked in and Achu Ran us to our room. She was bouncing off the trees and rocks as we walked to our room and  then off the walls and up and down on the beds as she explained everything. The whole time she kept glancing out the window towards the Hotel office.  I think she was afraid someone was going to go in there and discover her chocolate stash. Well, wouldn’t you know it…. one of the maids was walking up the walkway from one of the rooms towards the office, Angela Screamed like a banshee, through our room keys at us, and raced back to the office pushing the maid down along the way.  She ran into the little HSM office.. Slammed the door and drew the curtains..  
So then, I  took a quick shower, banged my head on the low ceiling not once, not twice but three times!  I didn’t notice this before and Achu is short enough that it didn’t effect her,  BUT Anyone staying in the Jasmine room at HSM should be 5 foot 9 inches or shorter, or like myself have a thick skull.  The ceilings in the bathroom are quite low.

After showering, patching up the head wounds and settling in, We headed to the  Dive shop around 3:30,  after about 3:45pm I was hoofing it  back to the hotel. I was unaware of the fact that a doctors note was required O’King diving while taking any kind of medications.  Sigh  And after all that hustling from Cancun, and all that hand holding anticipation….  But all was not lost, Achu went diving with the Mercenary guy (Dave) whilst I enjoyed a chocolate ice cream cone in town.  Funny thing however…   Since I haven’t dived before.. Maybe one of you divers could help me out with this.  Is it safe to smash peppermint patties into a mouthpiece? Just wondering…

While in town enjoying my 3 scoop chocolate cone, I procured a topless VW bug to convey us around the island for the rest of our trip .  I then went for a quick dip at Mr Sanchoz.  While standing near the water I saw the dive boat go by and waived with a tear in my eye.  I had to put on my sunglasses because of the glare and glinting of the ocean.  It was very intense, more so then I have noticed in all my other trips.  But  it was odd, the little glittery glint glares thingies were in a perfect line behind the dive boat.  Well after a while the waves washed them closer and closer…. And wouldn’t you know it…Hundreds of Peppermint Patty wrappers! I went back to HSM around 6:30 and talked to the new HSM girl Monica for a while.  While talking to her Achu called in to check up on us, (she is so thoughtful) I invited her out to dinner and she graciously accepted. She isn’t anywhere near as standoffish as Ron Lee says.. Hmmmm.  About 7 ish Achu showed up at HSM.  I was instructed to distract Monica the new girl while Achu stashed her chocolate in a super secret hiding spot. Afterwards Mercenary Friend Dave and I waited patiently in the car for Angela, I had to Honk the horn to hurry her up a bit.  (I think perhaps the sugar High wore off by this time) The Horn honking was a wonderful experience for me since in all the years I have been going to Cozumel (since 1988) this was the first VW I got with a horn that works.  So finally Achu appears out of the office and clambers into the back seat of the VW with a pair of purtyfull roses.  I said wow…  Who gave you those..  She said there for you guys.  I thought to myself she musta figured we had more chocolate in our bags back in the room, But after I told her we didn’t she still wanted us to have them.  So that was very sweet of her.  It was so very nice of her J.  We sped of  to go have dinner at the Manatee.  Lasagna  Finalllly.  But to my dismay it was closed.  We stopped by the golf course, parking in my super secret for john only parking space.  I dropped off some goodies for Scott and Sally, Sunshine greeted me eagerly even though I didn’t have a doggie treat. We all chit chatted for a bit and then we headed over to Sonora Grill for Dinner. I asked the waiter if he would bring out one of the parakeets for us to see,  He explained to us that Choo Choo was on vacation.  Im not to sure what that meant.  Perhaps Choo choo flew the coop so to speak.

The food was excellent as always. Achu regaled us with amusing anecdotes and wonderful tales of Island Intrigue and Adventure.  Fun was had by all and the final hours of our first night quickly passed by.   We quickly stopped back at Minigolf to give sunshine some leftovers from dinner and to say g’night to Scott and Sally.
We dropped Angela off at home and called it a night….

That’s it for now.

Stay tuned for tomorrows Day two report,  Where you will learn of the Following..

Displaced Kids need Help and guidance
The great Jacuzi Hunt
The Great Lasagna Scandal
And
Who Stole Angela’s Chocolate!!!!!!!!

And More

What I did this summer:  DAY 2

Thrills, Spills and Chills.  Here we are again…  Same Bat time,  Same Bat Channel.

First of All, Thanks for all the wonderful responses to my posting and all the emails.  Many of you have insisted that I become a writer.  But keep this in mind.. in doing so I would give up my good paying cushy engineering job, become poor and never be able to visit Cozumel again.

When I last left y’all Angela, the mercenary and my self were having dinner and calling it quits for the night.

While laughing the night away and consuming copious amounts of adult beverages,  
things were going amuck back at the Bat Cave.  Unbeknownst to us, the newest addition to the HSM calendar girl lineup (Monica) stumbled across Angela’s unprotected  super secret chocolate stash!!!  Holy Cow Batman!  

This poor innocent nare-do-weller was either so concerned for the well-being of Angelas now melting secret stash or perhaps she was just simply fearing the obvious long term repercussions that would result once Achu returned in the morning to gorge on her stash, only to find liquefied chocolate ooze surrounding an unrecognizable white pile of goop.  We probably will never know her true intentions.  In any case she very sympathetically and carefully relocated Achus priceless bits of heaven to the owners of the hotels refrigerator down the block.  

Everyone went to bed happy and content  that night.   Angela slipped into her sugar induced coma, Monica was happy with her good deed and I was having happy thoughts of lasagna at Manti the next day.

The next morning we were scheduled to have breakfast at the museum with Suze and Kathy, Travelnotes posters who live on the island.  The intent of the meeting was to hook up the mercenary group with kids in need on the island. After our breakfast we had scheduled tours of the DIF (Halfway House)  and A youth Center run by a Mr. Victor Hugo.  I took a nice warm shower, again a treat,  so seldom are the showers hot on the island,  I finished my shower and while viperously brushing the cottonmouth margarita taste outa my mouth I heard a ruckus in the courtyard..  Very carefully I stooped low as I walked out of the bathroom so as not to whack my head as I had so frequently done three times the day before.  I saw my mercenary friend Dave hunkered down by the window peeking out from behind the curtains….   I asked him what was up.  He said “ Dude” them Maids are all lined up against the wall over there execution style and Angelas got a bullhorn and is yelling at them in Spanish over and over  “Donde está MI chocolate! Donde está MI chocolate!  Donde está MI chocolate!  All the while cracking a whip with the other hand.  

Dave and I tipy toed behind Achu as the terrified maids pleaded to us for help, but alas we  escaped her wrath and were off to help the kids. The maids would have to fend for themselves.

Breakfast went well.  It was very nice of Kathy and Suze to meet with us (thank you both very much)  we discussed what kinds of things the mercenaries could do to help the kids.
We then went to the DIF house.  I don’t know exactly what DIF means but it is basically a safe house for kids. The house  was new, similar to affordable housing programs here in the states..  Very simply construction, new and clean it was had very sparse accommodations , table, bed, sink, toilet.  There were two boys there when we went.  One about 14 and one about 7.  It is my understanding that they have up to 6 or 7 kids in there at a time.  I didn’t see any toys to speak of there. And they looked pretty bored.  If any of you travel notes folks who would like to help out these kids, I am sure toys, books, outdoor toys, balls, crayons  anything to help these kids pass the time away would be greatly appreciated.  They have nothing!.  If stuff is brought down, Im sure Suze would make sure they get there, or possibly Minigolf Sally.  Or drop me a line and Ill Find someone to come get them from you while in Coz or tell you how to get there yourself..  We were thinking of building bunk beds to help out as well as some shelving to get the stuff off the floors to make more room for beds.  Also needed were things like blankets, highchairs etc for infants.  

Suze , who came with us brought a few toys from home for the little boys to play with.  They were all smiles and very thankful.

We had an hour to kill before visiting the youth center.  So Dave and I decided to go back to HSM,  We tried to go down 10th street but it was all blocked off with yellow police tape. There were Federalis, GAR, Mexican Navy, FBI and I think the American Consulate as well.  Boy Angela sure knows how to get things whooped up when  she needs to.  So since we couldn’t get into the hotel, I decided that it wold be a good time to top off the gas tank in Pepe my little VW and to run to Super San Francisco to by some bags of lime flavored peanuts.  While sitting at the stop light on 30th I was amazed to see two guys on a moped  drive by,  the one on the back was balancing a 25 foot long piece of Plastic PVC piping. As they drove along the bumpy road, either end swayed and bounced a scant few inches from the ground. If that front end caught on the road..... who knows what kind of acrobatic wonders I would have witnessed.  I contemplated following them for a while, but I decided that I didn’t want the precariously perched 25 foot long chunk of PVC anywhere near me or my underinsured rental car. It  kind of looked like  someone of to do some jousting.  All they had to do was dress the mopehead up like a horse and enter it in the Carnival parade.

We met Mr Victor Hugo at the Youth Center that afternoon. He was a very nice man. His English was very impressive.  He gave us a tour of the youth center.  It shares the same building as the city of San Miguels public works building near the Ace Hardware..  The center consisted of a modest library with pamphlets, books and materials on various issues, drug abuse, addition, self esteem,  and other stuff.  Also there was a small Nurses/Physicians office, a kitchen area, bathrooms, A social workers and Administrative office and a large activities room where they have karate lessons, workshops, dance classes etc.  Mr Hugo explained to us that he is trying to make the youth center a fun place for kids to come, not just for counseling but as a place to go hang out.  He feels that Cozumel has grown so fast that the sense of community is dwindling. He wants to create a place that he kids can call there own with lots of fun activities as well as the necessary counseling.  I think that’s what he meant anyway.....  He mentioned that he might try and get the kids together to make a carnival float next year.   He is also trying to get money or volunteers to come in and build several simple private meeting/counsel rooms in the empty space behind them in the public works building.  I think that about covers it, Suze also was there and if anyone would like to know more drop either one of us a line.  We talked to Victor a bit more.  He was really very energetic and enthusiastic over the possibility of outside volunteer help.  We said our good-byes, and I explained to Mr Hugo that we were staying over at the HSM if he had any more ideas for us, He was very surprised to hear that we were staying there at the HSM, and inquired as to what all the commotion was over there.  We decided it was best not to get him involved and feigned ignorance.

Dave wanted to go back to HSM for a quick shower,  When we got there all was quite. Peaceful.  Almost surreal.  All looked clear...   One the count of three, we sprung out of the VW bug and made a frantic dash past the front office, around the fountain over some shrubbery and into the hotel room.  Whew!  We made it.  
The rooms were a shamble. Not only had they not been cleaned by the now missing maids, but somebody had totally and thoroughly  ransacked the room.  Who could have done such a dastardly deed!  Why!  What could that evil doer been up to!  
Dave quickly took a shower while I stood guard with a big stick by the door.  I noticed several holes in the courtyard where someone had been digging.  Also some up-rooted palm trees and a metal detector! Hmmm
Do peppermint patty wrappers register on a metal detector?


Off to the East side we went in search of the all elusive Jacuzzi. Up and down the road we went.  Squinting and imagining and postulating.  Ever watching the waves swirling in the rocks,  We would pull over and tenderly walk across the lava rock, but alas who knows!  I saw lots of things that looked like Jacuzzis, None looked very friendly to me and there was no way I WOULD sit in there!  Not my idea of Jacuzzi sitting on those jagged rocks and getting pounded by a big wave. I did find a nice hunk of pink coral and a really cool driftwood walking stick.  

We decided to call it quits and head back to town.  Im sure the shift change had occurred and by this time Steph was working and things would have settled down back at the Bat Cave.  They were!  It was god to see Steph again.  Whomever ransacked our room wasn’t to interested in the protein powder and kitty treats, So steph lucked out and we were able to present them to her.

She learned of our impending plans to have dinner at the Manatee, after a bit of whimpering and pleading (hers...not ours) we agreed to bring her back some lasagna.  She called ahead to ensure their openness!  The were! HA! My heart pounded with anticipation.  I wiped the drool from my mouth as she placed a to-go order of lasagna to be sent back with us.  There was a moment of silence on our end of the phone and some Spanish I didn’t understand came out of Stephs mouth, another moment of silence as Steph glanced at me and then some more Spanish.  This time I caught a few words and it became painfully evident that There was no Lasagna tonight at the Manatee and Steph was ordering something else!!!  I cried out loud in agony!  Steph tried to comfort me.  The door swung open and there stood Achu covered head to toe in dirt holding a muddy shovel with a hopeful but crazed look.  She had heard the scream and though I had found her chocolate! I explained to her that Monica had carefully put her beloved Peppermint Patties in the refrigerator at the owner’s house so that they wouldn’t melt.  

Off to Manatee we went,  As always the food was incredible.  Leo made me Spaghetti  with the Lasagna sauce on it, my mercenary friend had the grouper I think it was... He also enjoyed his meal very much.  Leo has finished his multilevel out door Palapa, added a bathroom and a fresh coat of paint,  It looks great.

Some folks in the past have complained about the irregularity of hours at the Manatee,  and also about slow service sometimes. Its no secret that  Leos little boy has been very sick for a long time, as a result Leo sometimes has to understandably put his son first and do what needs to be done.  He then entrust his Restaurant to available family and friends.  I can honestly say that my dining experience at the Manatee have always been amongst the finest ever. Sit back and enjoy the simple but classy music and decorations.  Take a stroll around the place to look at the art on the walls.  Leo did most of it himself.  If I could I would eat there every night!

A nice walk back to HSM, we delivered Stephanie’s to go order of Pasta something or another and onion soup.  We wandered down town for some shopping and people watching.  I heard a few more lines from shop tenders that I hadn’t heard before,   Give me a chance to rip you off, Let me clean out your wallet, Something for your Wife...your other wife...my wife...your girlfriends.. I HAVE A SISTER, Let me show you my lonely store, I know what you need and many many more.  The square was pretty dead, no cruise ships were in, and the 200% humidity kinda was putting a damper on the evening.  

We stopped at the Havana club just in time to order a desert before the kitchen closed.  We sat at the bar and listened to the live band play Cuban music and had a few of the Cuban national drinks.

I smiled an evil smile as I watched the waitress deliver my two scoops of double chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce and chocolate cake and topped with chocolate liqueur...  I wonderd to myself as I took the first bite...... Is ACHU actually an Acronym For “Angela’s Chocolate Hoarding Urges?”

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