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El Cozumeleno by Mike 07/03/02

Comments: June 24, 2002 thru July 1, 2002: Our first real vacation with our three kids and we decided that we take it at the El Cozumeleno due to price and availability.  The story below will cover information about the Rooms, Food, Snorkeling, Friendliness of the personnel and a few other things which you could find interesting which could help you to decide if you would like to take an adventure here. I have added my recommendations to the end of my review.
Monday: Flew in to Cozumel, checked in at El Cozumeleno on time and ready to leave the rest of the world behind and have a good time.  Drank a lot this day. Free Beer and a good bartender who was serving Sol next to the pool.  We met another couple from Houston with 3 kids, never got their names other then Vinney.  The room he checked into had a bad rear door that stayed open about a foot.   He was pretty upset about the room and after he put up a fuss at the front desk they moved him to the new building.  He was much happier afterwards, said that the room looked like a real hotel room and the thermostat had a real dial on it.  Our room was huge and only a few rooms down from where he just left.  I had called and asked to be placed in the lower floor since we had 3 kids and did not want to be hauling them up and down the stairs though out our vacation.  This section looked old, but tranquil, it was away form the rat race where the new building resides.  The greatest thing about our room, it was only about 50 feet from the patio bar and 10 more feet to the quiet pool.  I read on the internet that these rooms smelled like Clorox, but we did not encounter any smell. The room was well cleaned with 2 twin beds, the rear sofas which faced out the patio rolled out to make beds, so in essence we had 4 beds in this room with plenty of room to spare.  This was the only all-inclusive hotel in Cozumel which could accommodate 3 kids and two adults. 
My kids were well taken care of at the bar with all the non-alcoholic beverages they wanted.  My boys would walk up and order Bahama-mama's, Strawberry Daiquiris, Miami Vices,  Pina Coladas, and regular sodas.  The biggest drawback on the bars is that they don't carry any real fruits to make the specialty drinks as some of the other inclusive hotels.
Monday night we missed the nightly entertainment, we were unaware that they take place after the Trio Show.  A Rookie mistake, won't happen again.
Tuesday: Met Jerrardo Lopez, Master Chef for El Cozumeleno.  I caught him during his break, actually he asked me where I was from while I was getting a drink with my bartender buddy (who we will talk about later).  We spoke awhile aquatinting ourselves (I speak Spanish, not very good but good enough to get by), he mentioned his wife is from Puebla which kind of broke the ice since my good neighbor is also for Puebla.  After a while my family came out to the bar after their Siesta and I introduced them to him.  I explained to my kids and wife that this was the man responsible for all the food in the hotel, so if we got sick it would be his fault (this never happened).  After my family left for the pool, we continued to talk which I later found out that he used to work in my hometown of Brownsville, Texas.  After he finished cooking school he got a job with Sara-Lee (The Pastry Company).  He specialized in making sure the cream toppings were done properly (this is also a why all the desserts are wonderful here).  He had to leave Sara-Lee since he had working paper problems.  He then got a job in Matamoros (across the border from Brownsville) but decided it was time for a change.  He worked at the Allegro Resort at Playa-de-Carmen until finally ending up at the El Cozumeleno about 5 months ago.  He did mention that his desire is to work in one of the large Vegas Hotels and he doesn't care which one as their Master Chef.
After I explained to him that my wife and I have stayed at the both the Allegro Resort (5 or 6 star hotel, also visited the Allegro in Playa-de-Carmen where he worked) and Barcelo Maya Beach Resort (5 or 6 star hotel), he asked if we could give him an honest opinion at the end of our stay on the quality of food, and any suggestions we would recommend.  I told him that I would and that my wife would help with the survey since she is the health freak in our family and pretty picky about her foods.  She would also be better suited in giving an honest opinion, you see to be honest with you, I don't complain about what foods are placed on my plate.  If there is a plate I have never seen I will try it and then past judgment, I probably be a good contestant for Fear Factor, at least my kids tell me that. 
We spoke a little longer and I explained that my 8 year old boy likes to cook.   He asked me to bring him to the Kitchen on Wednesday morning so that the cooks can show/explain how to cook a fish.
Wednesday: During breakfast I confirmed with Jerrardo, who my son started calling Master Chef Jerry, if we were still on for 10:00.  He said he and his cook would be ready.  We showed up 5 minutes early but they were already set up for us.   Ceveche was the meal they were to prepare for us.  During the preparation of the Ceveche he explained the day to day activities.  When he took over the kitchen 5 months back it was a mess, and I don't doubt him from all the bad reviews I read from last year on the internet.  He explained that not only does he have to prepare food for about 400 to 500 people but also for about 250 employees daily.  And judging by the size of the kitchen that was a real chore.  He has about 30 specialty cooks and about 15 to 20 stewards all doing their specialized chore.   I think that most of the cooks put in about 8 to 10 hours and probably have somebody relieve them later since they all don't fit in the kitchen at once.  I know that Master Chef Jerry places a lot more hours then anybody.  I would see him at 7:00 in the morning organizing the breakfast area and then I would see him getting ready to leave about 8:30 or 9:00 at night.  He said he is still changing the kitchen with the help of the guest suggestions. 
The Ceveche dish included: cilantro, tomatoes, onions, lime, Tabasco sauce, sour orange, regular orange, ketchup and last but not least the Durrado (fish).  The Durrado was cubed in about ¾ inch cubes and slightly boiled.  He mentioned that it was slightly boiled in order to keep its texture from falling apart.  The ingredients were blended together, Master Chef Jerry gave it a little taste and then asked the cook to add a little more lime.  After it was done, he served up two dishes so that we could take to our room.  It was delicious, unfortunately we could not eat the whole thing since it was right after breakfast.
During Lunch I spoke to a couple of folks, while waiting for our Roast Beef to be grilled (this lunch grill was recently added by Master Chef Jerry, there is already an existing hamburger grill in the adjacent room for lunch), one from Waco and the other I didn't ask. 
The dude from Waco was running late for his fishing trip so I let him get in front of me.  He explained that the deep sea fishing is done about 1mile off the shore line where the water changes color. Its about 600 feet deep along those reefs and then it really drops.  According to him and the Captain from my fishing trip last year it drops to about 2,000 feet.  Last years fishing trip was tough in a couple of ways.  While staying at the Barcelo Beach resort, my wife and I took an all day trip to Chizen-Itza,.  During that trip we contracted Montezuma's Revenge from the restaurant we stopped to eat at.  It hit most folks that night but my Revenge started the morning of the Fishing Trip, and since I didn't book with the Fun Jet Crew, there would be no refund.  You talk about hurting, I had to mentally block it for four hours since I was on board with a married couple from Dallas and the Toilet was not working.  Eleven boats went out on that day from Akumal and only one boat landed a Durrado.  
The other person behind me said he visited El Cozumeleno 2 years prior during the remodeling and mentioned the food had definitely improved but was no comparison to the Moon Palace.  My neighbor four homes down said the same thing.  She visited both El Cozumeleno and the Moon Palace.  She said the Moon Palace food was awesome, but the rooms at El Coz were unreal compared to the Palace.  She also mentioned the surf had big waves at the Palace something the El Coz doesn't know the meaning about due to the Jettys.
We enjoyed the beach here since my kids played on the small waves every day.  There are two Jetty like Piers that run into the ocean which block the currents from creating large waves.  You won't find the beautiful reefs which everyone is accustomed to seeing at the other end of Cozumel.  I took my oldest boy snorkeling along the North Jetty and tossed some bread.  There were some colorful fish but still no comparison to the National Park on the other side of the island.  While at Allegro (formally known as Diamond) about 5 or 6 years back my wife and I took an all day snorkel trip to the National Park.
Jorge my Bartender, not much of a talker but a great guy.  He explained that there are seven bartenders who work at El Coz.  They have a rotating shift every week so they won't get bored of the same view.  Jorge has been with them for 8 years and has had other opportunities to go elsewhere but says he loves the hotel cause they treat him good.  I usually tipped Jorge about $8 to $10 a day since he would pour the beer for me as soon as I walked up the Bar.  He took real good care of my kids even my youngest whom can barely speak any words.  My youngest would spurt out a sound like "pie" and he picked up quickly that that meant Sprite.  One day there were 3 guys who approached the bar, one had a blue armband and the others had green arm bands (green means you are too young to drink).  The 2 guys with green armbands did not show their bands, they kept their wrist lowered below the counter.  They all ordered a beer, and Jorge gave the one in the middle a beer but asked the other 2 to show their arm bands, he asked them about 3 times before they raised their arms.  Instead of telling them anything he went about his business and ignored the 2 guys.  It showed me that Jorge takes his job seriously. The kids (which I thought they were old enough to drink) don't realize that their jobs (which probably don't pay much and is their only income), could be in jeopardy when they try to pull a stunt like this.
We made reservations that morning for La Veranda restaurant in the Hotel.  I had the Grouper and it was marvelous.  Other then when I cook my own fish, there has only been one other time that I had eaten a better tasting fillet and that was a Red Snapper in Matamoros about 20 years ago.  The Buffet was Mexican theme outside.  We went to the Buffet after our dinner and there were no seats available anywhere.  This happened to be Theme Night and it was packed.   We decided to feed the fish on the Jetty and then make our way to the side by the pool to catch the Aztec and Mexican Dancing.  The kids were enjoying the show but my wife and young ones were exhausted from the snorkeling and swimming at the pool earlier that day.  They called it a night, but my oldest and I stayed until it was almost over. 
Thursday: About an hour after our usual omelets, fruits, pancakes, waffles, croissants, coffee, orange juice and what every else they had, we headed into town.  Our kids had been bugging us that they wanted to spend their $20 they each had saved for this trip.  I was stuck footing the $14 roundtrip taxi ride.  The standard fair is $5 for 2 people and $1 for each additional passenger.  My youngest was a lap child cause the taxi's are small and they did not charge for him.  We walked about 20 minutes and the kids were tired.  They wanted to go back to the hotel already.  I got them a round of drinks in the back road in a little grocery store for $5.   That same round one block over is probably about $8 to $10.    Prices are hiked during the day when the Cruise ships arrive.  Wednesday seemed the worst day, I think we counted about 5 to 6 Cruise lines pass in front of our Hotel.  About 2 hours of shopping and $100 less in the wallet it was time to get back and feed the wife and kids.  Prior to hopping on a cab I hit a couple of Cigar shops.  Got one Cuban and 3 small Mexican cigars for $10.  I mentioned to my wife that we spent about $100 on our excursion, she said great, this vacation will be much cheaper then the others we've gone on.  Since we have everything at the hotel the kids want, there is no need to spend anymore on this trip other then tipping our waiters, maids and bartenders. 
When we got back I sat at the bar with a beer and a smoked one of the Mexican vanilla cigars.  I didn't think it tasted bad since I didn't have that burning sensation in the back of my throat like the cheap cigars you find at all the gasoline stores, but I think I ran a couple off that was sitting on the other side of the bar, so it could have been bad.
 A word of caution:  I spoke to Jorge about a man who approached us at the market.   The man said he saw us at the Hotel, but I did not snap to the fact that I had an armband which indicated I was from El Coz.  He was persistent  on getting my family to visit a Resort near Cancun and offered us $150 spending money and paid transportation there and back.  I kept refusing and he started getting irate.  We finally just walked off which I think pissed him off even more. Jorge said a similar situation occurred to somebody else in the hotel a few months back, he also did not take up on the offer but said to be caution when somebody offers you money for nothing.  
George and I also spoke about hurricane situations.  He said they are given between 24 to 12 hours of notice to get the hotel buckled down.  He said Roxanne destroyed quite a bit of the island and hotels.
I went back to my porch with my beer just to relax and I noticed the same gardener for the third straight day.  I believe his only function at the hotel is to maintain the rear side of the old section of the Hotel and the Putt-Putt area.  He mowed on our second day of stay but that is all the power tools he used.  He used a straw broom to clean the edges of the sidewalk after he had trimmed them with the large hand scissors.  The scissors were used for trimming where a weed-eater would finish a job in no time.  He'd be on his hands and knees trimming the grass down to lawnmower height over on the Hills of the Putt-Putt course.  He would get up to take a breath of air for about five seconds and then get back at it.  I am not sure but maybe it's the hotels way of keeping it quit.  I noticed today that there have been more folks around my porch to see the Iguanas.  The Iguanas are not large ones, but look cool and they seem to only reside in the older part of the hotel.
Over at the Lunch area, Pedro (The grill guy) was looking a little slow.  There was a long line forming and when it was finally my turn to give him the Roast Beef to cook, I asked him what was wrong.  He said he felt a little sick and the night before he ran some fever.  I asked him why he didn't stay home instead of getting everyone else sick, and he said that he like doing what he was doing and he would have to be on his death bed to not show up since he was happy with the job he had.  I noticed he was struggling with his lower back but he blew it off and changed the subject and asked me how my trip with the family was going and if there was anything special I would liked cook to make our stay more enjoyable.  My youngest boy enjoyed the Roast Beef sandwich, he to is like my wife but even more finicky about the foods he eats. 
We swam at the quiet pool today since the other pool had a water polo game going.  We did not want to risk the kids getting hurt.
Caribbean supper tonight with the talent entertainment.  Roast beef, chicken (no breast), pork, fish, mashed potatoes and the main dish was a rice mixing with fish, shrimp, octopus, squid, pork and some other stuff (I had 3 servings, others didn't like it).  It sat in the middle of the buffet line (buffet line was split in two and both lines met in the middle).  Desserts, I can't tell you what they have since they have a variety of pies and cakes.  My oldest loved the chocolate pie/cake but they kept running out of it.  The young lady sitting in front of my son also mentioned that was her favorite dessert and she to was patiently waiting for them to bring more out.
About 7:30 the talent show started.  It started with a kids theme and ended the night with adults crawling on their hands and knees to drink a tequila filled guitar glass through a straw (looked like 32 oz).  Both my older boys participated in the kids theme with about 30 to 40 other kids on stage with them.  Surprisingly enough my uncoordinated son ended up getting to the final four of a similar game as Simon-Says.  He got beaten out by a girl almost twice his age.  He would have been awarded a prize but there were 2 two year old crowd favorites on stage.  The 2 youngsters were to get booted out on a number of occasions, but every time the host threaten to remove them from the stage, the crowd booed him.  He was forced to leave them both in though-out the contest.  I was just happy to see my kids have a good time.  Another word of caution check your rooms when you get there: After the show we went back to our room and my older son was looking though the drawers and ran across a small bag of marijuana.  I had noticed a pipe earlier in the week but thought nothing of it.  My first thought was to toss everything into the ocean but my wife insisted in notifying the management instead.  I took both to the front counter and told them I was upset that my son found this in our room.  All I got at the front desk was a, thanks for turning it in, and that they would get rid of it.  Most of the night I thought the Mexican police was going to break the door down and hull my butt to jail.  I finally stopped thinking about it Friday morning after breakfast when I was still at the hotel.  I speak the language even this would have been hard to talk myself out of cause in Mexico you are guilty until proven innocent.
Friday: After breakfast I went snorkeling by myself without my boys this time.  I ended up going toward town (south) about ¼ mile.  There are actually small reefs/rocks in this area which some colorful fish reside in.  Just be aware of boat traffic.  I went against the current and didn't make it to the restaurant with the pier out front.  A lady the previous day mentioned the pier is infested with an assortment of fish which they feed every day. 
Over at lunch, Master Chef Jerry, happened to be in the area directing his cooks and he himself was organizing some food displays.  He asked if there was anything special we needed and I asked him if my wife could have a plain grilled chicken breast instead of the stuffed one in the menu.  He said they would gladly grill one for her.  We ended up trying 5 of the 6 different items they had on the lunch menu.  We decided today not to get the regular roast beef sandwich from Pedro today.   To my surprise my kids loved the BLT's so we had to order another plate.  I had the grilled fish and again it was perfect, I don't think they ever messed the fish during our stay.  It had the right amount of butter garlic and lime and some sort of herb sprinkle.  My wife enjoyed the breast and my kids helped me eat the other plates, don't know the name of it but it was a tortilla wrapped around some cream and spinach and some sauce spread around it. My oldest asked Master Chef Jerry for a tour during the dessert cooking and he obliged him. He told my son to come on over tomorrow and he would show him the desserts.
After we spent the afternoon swimming again, guess what its time to eat again,  this time it was Caribbean theme night, kind of like before, the food was set outside again and this time the food was split on both sides of the sitting areas, this seemed to make the line go faster.  We had the luck of the dice tonight since we got the same waiter from the night before.  I asked him if he was following us and he said no.  Every night the waiters gather and throw dice to see which table they would get and it so happened that he ended up with us. The $3 the night before paid off for this night, fresh drinks were always sitting in front of us without us asking, since he was faster then prompt we left him three more dollars. 
This seemed to be the night the folks on the internet said the food was bland, they had everything sliced beef (a little tough this time), sliced pork, chicken with breast and the usual fish.  I had some of everything and my wife had the chicken breast.  Wow twice in one day.  The salad bar is the same, nothing special other then the pickled bamboo. After I was done eating I felt like kicking myself  since my wife pointed out that the other line had something special being served.  I went over to look at what the commotion was about.  They were sizzling fajitas in sautéed onions and grilled peppers and they looked good.  There were some good looking desert glasses filled with strawberries prior to the crowds getting in line for food, but by the time we were ready for desert they were all gone and they did not bring anymore out the rest of the night. 
Prior to the Caribbean show there was the crowd participation show.  The Marange dance was being taught while the kids took the front row and the teenagers and adults took the rear.  The conductor picked by older boy out of the crowd and had him lead the crowd in the dance after he instructed them how to do this dance.  I was nervous for him, cause I didn't think he had any rhythm, I was proved wrong.  The conductor was really good in shouting instructions which he was able to follow pretty well and so was the rest of the crowd.  This would have been a good time to have the video camera. I could have used this for future bribery material for his future wife and kids.
Saturday: I didn't get my first beer till about 11:00 seems we started sleeping in later toward the end of the week.  We took a tour on the external portion of the new building.  We rode up the elevator to the 9th floor and it was like everybody had mentioned, it was an awesome view.  Even though it was a spectacular view I would not trade it for the convenience and quietness we had on the older section.   A honeymoon couple  from Detroit (Matt and Lynn, they were a pleasure to meet) had a room in the new section on the 6th floor.  During theme night they said that they would have to yell at each other in the room in order to here one another.  The speakers are extremely loud during the late shows, but I did not notice them being as loud during the afternoon activities.  Matt and Lynn seemed to head to town quite a bit, Lynn wanted the authentic Mexican cuisine, they would come back and tell us about the restaurants they hit.
Sunday: Well my older son set the tour of the bakery with Master Chef Jerry for this morning after breakfast.  We walked to another section of the kitchen which I did not seen the previous time.  In a room about 8 x 6 foot there were 2 small stoves on top of each other. Next to this room there was another room about 8 x 6 foot were the 2 workers had their working table.   In the isolated room the 2 stoves are used for all the pies and bread for the hotel members.  I could not believe that all the desserts and bread come out from those 2 tiny stoves.  This is one area the Hotel management really needs to tend to.  Without larger stoves they are being counter-productive.  Master Chef Jerry said he is still remodeling his kitchen and that was one of the areas he would hopefully be working on soon. We were introduced to one of the bread makers and one of the cake makers that morning.  I have never seen pastry workers move as fast as they did.  My aunt has a bakery in Houston, and I told him they would be happy to take him if they had some working papers. 
The cake maker made a Mango cake for us, after he was done he took a picture with my boys and Master Chef Jerry.  On my second picture Master Chef Jerry asked for my boys to place their faces closer to the cake and that is when he pushed it on them.  My boys ended up gobbling that cake pretty quick later that day. 
Master Chef Jerry said that if there was anybody who would like to be introduced to his kitchen that it would be his pleasure to show them around and explain the activities of the place.  He said he would rather the vacationers speak to him about ways to improve or if they wanted a certain dish fixed a certain way, instead of them placing harsh words on the internet without giving him a chance.  He doesn't speak much English but he understands it well, so if you are interested look for the big guy with the blue coat that has the words Master Chef.
After this visit we went over and checked out the double Kayak.  If you want an upper chest and arm work out this is the sport.  My boys accompanied me on their first ever adventure on a kayak.  Wind was blowing harder then usual and the current was stronger then usual.  We maneuvered around the roped off area cause the wind and current and I did not take a chance with the boys being swept out if we flipped the Kayak.  After about an hour of this I headed to the beach for my last snorkel adventure.
The boys only wanted to play on the beach so I headed out for about two hours and stayed between the Jettys.   After a couple of hours I finally found me a parrot fish, he resides in the smaller jetty under some rocks.
For some reason today's lunch had some piss poor service.  It took us a little over an hour to get our food today.  The captain (the captain is the person in charge of the waiters) sincerely apologized for the wait, but as usual the food on the menu was great.
My boys decided not to have a Siesta on this last day, but instead played Putt-Putt.  I drank some beer at my trusted bar and watched them play 54 holes.  Between the hours of 1:00 and 3:30 we tried to stay out of the pool. This time seemed to be the hottest part of the day.  While there I thanked Jorge for a making our stay very comfortable.
We ate at the La Veranda again this night.  The food as usual was excellent, what's interesting to see here is they decorate each plate as seen on TV shows.  They elegantly place the food on the plate, instead of slopping it on the plate.  This night my boys were impressed with the showmanship of our waiter when he made me the flame (boy something) dessert.  He brought out a plate with ice cream covered in whip cream, then he poured brandy and a mint liquor in a ladle.  He lit it, and poured the fire from one ladle to the other, he would place one above his head and the other as far down as he could reach.  After pouring the fire from ladle to ladle (about 4 times) he poured the burning alcohol  on the dessert.  The alcohol melted most of the whip cream toward the bottom of the plate.  I tasted the ice cream and could not tell the difference but when  I ate some of the whip cream at the bottom of the plate it lit my nostrils and chest up.  The alcohol was pretty strong.  We tipped our waiter and headed out to feed the fish one last time.
We went to the buffet line one last time about 9:00 that night just for desserts.  My oldest son was disappointed since they were out of chocolate as usual.   We waited about 30 minutes and then called it a night.
Conclusion: All in all we had a wonderful trip.  I can't comment on the kids club, since I don't believe that a family vacation means leaving your kids in a day care, just my opinion.  Our children range from 5 to 9 and were supervised at all times.  All the amenities were provided at the hotel in order for my family to enjoy our stay.  The hotel is situated in a very good location.  It is quiet and peaceful and the ocean is marvelous.   Fun Jet had a nice package deal for us.  This was our first time using Fun Jet but we used the same travel agent from the previous year, (Express Travel, Connie, Southeast Houston).  She helped book this trip when other traveling agents did not want to deal in trying to book a trip with 3 kids.  When traveling with 3 kids to this area there is only 1 all inclusive hotel in Cozumel and 4 all inclusive hotels in Cancun that could accommodate us.  For the amount we paid and the accommodations we received I can't see how any body profited from the $2,200 except my family.   The folks who moaned and groaned about the food choices and accommodations from this hotel should not be taken seriously.  In my opinion, I believe something did not sit right with them from the start and that made the entire trip a total drag for them, or these folks are expecting a lot from a hotel that does not advertise as being a 5 or 6 star hotel.  From speaking to some of the returning vacationers at the hotel, the place has made tremendous strides.  Hopefully Master Chef Jerry could continue to build his kitchen since the food is always what most travelers remember most.  I know I will remember this place since I gained 10lbs on this trip.   And the most important part was the staff ALWAYS went out of their way to make our stay a pleasant one.
From the looks of it, I think the managers/owner of the hotel are/is striving to get this hotel pointed in the right direction.  They are doing the right things to continue to improve so I hope that my comments for other potential hotel improvements do not go in vain.
And Yes we would stay again in a Heartbeat. 
If you would like me to answer any questions via internet, make sure you place El Cozumeleno in the subject line since I don't read my junk mail.

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